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2004-12-09 - 9:31 a.m. I swear, no matter how many times I wash my clothes, the minute I put them on, all the dirt in the room just comes rushing over and flings itself onto me! It’s the only explanation. Ditto with the dog hair. I have dog hair on my shirt. I put my shirt on straight from the drier, put my coat on, and left the house. No where in there did I TOUCH the dog. And yet, when I got to work and unzipped my coat…dog hair. I look like a frickin’ yeti! All my clothes look like that. Yes, it’s true the dog sleeps on the laundry pile, but those are the DIRTY clothes. As a rule, she generally is not allowed to sleep on the CLEAN clothes. So how….why…whu..??? where does all the damn hair come from?? It’s at the point where I’m afraid the animal rights people are going to hurl red paint on me, in protest of my wearing fur! Perhaps I should just buy all my clothes in a lovely dirty-off-white-dog-bum color. I would still be covered in hair, but at least it would blend in. ::: (singing) “Dr. **** you are a poo, a big giant poo, and I don’t wanna type your report…” ::: gah. I feel AWFUL. Thanks for sharing your germs, Husband. I guess you really meant it when you said, “what’s mine is yours…” You know, I think would actually go home sick today, except that it’s our office x-mas potluck lunch (for which management has given us a whole HOUR, plus our ½ hour lunch break!). At this point, just the thought of eating the inevitable Swedish meatballs, cheese log, and store-bought Christmas cookies is enough to have me looking for the nearest bathroom. However, whether or not I actually partake of any of the potluck offerings or not, I still want to go. It’s literally the only time all year I get to see certain people. The “home girls” (of which I used to be one). Let’s see…just 4½ hours to go. Oh. Please. Somebody just SHOOT me!! ::: Sometimes it’s not such a good thing knowing all kinds of medical stuff. Whereas most people would say, “I think I have a flu of some sort”….i sit here doing a mental inventory of all my glands and systems, carefully cataloguing where the aches and pains are, and cross checking that information with all the various illness and deadly diseases I know about. At this point I am quite convinced I have Mono, irritable bowel syndrome, esophageal erosions (from my gastroesophageal reflux disease, of course), high blood pressure, migraine headaches, seasonal affective disorder, pancreatitis, fibromyalgia, a kidney infection, likely diabetes, and quite possibly some very angry hemorrhoids. I’m sure by the end of the day I’m sure I will have developed a brain tumor, malaria and/or leprosy. ::: I just talked to some of the other girls here at work. Apparently, I am not the only one who is sick. There are at least 3 other girls with “tummy troubles” this week. Theme song for today: Johnny Cash – Burning Ring of Fire. ::: ok, here’s this year’s list of Stuff I Want. Cuz I’m all narcissistic and shit. 1. Diaryland Gold membership.
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