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2004-12-20 - 10:23 a.m.

well, it’s Monday again. I didn’t update last week because I was on holidays. Well, I didn’t actually GO anywhere, but I didn’t have to work, anyway.

As of 4:00 this morning, my son is officially a Teenager. How the hell did that happen?? I am the mother of a 13-year-old. Lord help me.

Chicken gets FOUR birthday parties this year. FOUR!!! No, my son isn’t spoiled, why do you ask? First, he got his “friends” party, where he invites his school mates over and they eat pizza, and cake and ingest massive quantities of sugar, and then laugh and shout and generally go apeshit for several hours. That was on Friday. Then on Saturday, he got his party with his father’s side of the family. He got more presents, and got to go out for chinese food. His father bought him a calendar (which, btw, is not even the one he wanted. Nice of him to ask, huh?) and a bag of jelly beans. Total cost? About $17. Then yesterday, he had his birthday celebration with Husband and me. We took him out to Mongolie Grill (where he had been dying to go but for some reason we had never taken him before). We had fun and ate until we were ready to burst. Then we went home and gave him his present. An X-box. One of the new Crystal X-box things. You know, the expensive, just in time for Christmas, only available in Canada x-boxes. Total cost? about $230 dollars (not including dinner at mongolie grill, or his birthday party with his friends). Ya, his dad’s a dink. I am having serious issues with him right now. So let’s just wander away from THAT topic of conversation, mmmkay?

So, my son is a very happy 13-year-old. He has 2 ½ weeks off school during which he gets to stay home by himself, wear his pajamas all day, and play nonstop xbox. Oh, and tonight is his fourth (and final!) birthday party. He is having his traditional Tea Party at grandma’s house…where he will receive the much anticipated, and relentlessly begged for Halo 2. ya, my son’s brain will be complete mush by the time he has to go back to school in January. I’m such a good mom. Pffft.

Actually, I had always sworn I would NEVER EVER buy him a game system (nintendo, xbox, whatever). I hate them. They are annoying. They are expensive. They rot your brain. But, my son is good. He is smart. He made the honor roll this year. And he NEVER asks for anything expensive, and never complains when we can’t buy him stuff because there is no money. So we felt he deserved it. However, for Christmas he is getting socks and underwear, I’m just sayin’.

:::

did I mention I cleaned my living room? We can now put up the tree! And there is floor space! And it looks like an actual Living Room now! Yippee!!!!!

Now I just have to clean out the alcove, and it’ll almost seem like a REAL house!

:::

Know what’s cute? When you call your mum to find out what time she wants you to come over for tea, and she tries to tell you a joke she just heard on the radio, but she’s laughing so hard you can’t understand her. Silly mum. :)

:::

I wish I could listen to my Walkman while I worked. Or at the very least, I wish the doctors all sounded like barry white, or Patrick stewart, or james earl jones. That would be nice. Unfortunately, they mostly sound like an ESL version of the cast of Looney Tunes!

Speaking of music, today is brought to you by the soulful sounds of John Lee Hooker. Feel the rhythm, baby, feeeeeel it.

:::

I’d like to report a case of Elf Molestation!!! I am currently wearing my friend J’s elf hat. Why? Well, because I forgot mine, and she had an extra one in her desk drawer, of course! (can you see why we’re friends?). Anyway, there is this guy who works in our building who talks. A LOT. I mean, he is super nice and all, but in a creepy, please-won’t-you-just-shut-UP sort of way. Anyway, on a trip to the lady’s room, I was just washing my hands, and I hear him out in the hallway. He had ambushed Josie (…and the pussycats – I always say that in my head every time I say her name, I just can’t help it). So I duck out of the bathroom and hope to make a fast getaway, but just as I’m going through the security door, he stops me with a cheerful “Nice Hat!! Where’d you get it?” so I HAD to answer him. Then he says, “so where’s my Christmas hug and kiss?” and proceeds to GRAB me in a huge, Merry-Christmas type hug and plants a bristly kiss right on my cheek!! I mean, it wasn’t lecherous or anything…but GAH!!! You don’t just GRAB people and HUG them!!! He’s lucky he caught me so off guard. I just giggled instead of retaliating. I mean, I may be Santa’s Elf today, but I’m a damn BIG elf, and I seriously could have kicked Skippy’s ass. Werd.

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