| ...a day in the life of a mouse |
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| ...a day in the life of a mouse |
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2006-01-24 - 8:23 a.m. I get to work this morning to find that they had replaced our OLD pop machine (the vending machine equivalent of an eight-track player) with a shiny, glowy NEW pop machine. I was just starting to groove to the silver-blue light it cast all over the foyer, thinking how cooool it was that it had a lighty-up front to it, as I pulled out my pet wallet.** I fished out $1.25 and reached for the shiny new coin slot while my eyes scanned the beverage choices and….HEY! Now wait a damn minute here! Where the FUCK is my ORANGE JUICE!?! Stupid, faggoty, shiny, lighty-up machine, standing there in the foyer all “ooh! Look at meeee! I’m new and GLOWY” Fuck of, bitch. Where’s my OJ?! Sure, there’s 5-Alive. Pffft. I spit on you, 5-Alive. *ptooey* Every damn morning, I come in here, and buy a can of orange juice. and now there is none. Fuckers. Fucking FUCKERS! RAAAWWWRR!!! Fine. Ok. It’s just orange juice. And there IS 5-alive which has orange juice IN it…but it’s not the same. And I’m tired. And I’m pms-ing. And I’m cranky. Waaah, waah, wah. Shut up. It is so a big deal. ::: **my pet wallet – I actually have one of those wallets-on-a-chain. After YEARS of mocking kids with their wallets on chains, with the chains hanging down out of their pockets in their saggy-ass jeans…I actually went and bought one. Granted, mine is not black with Harley Davidson all over it…it is pink and girly. But there really is a good reason! I lost my previous wallet (shiny purple with butterflies) at a movie theatre. No one turned it in. It only had about $5 or $10 in it…which, while I’d rather have kept, is really not a huge deal. I mean, even if they’d kept the money and then turned in the wallet…that would have been fine! But no. they probably took the money, and then tossed the wallet in the garbage. Bastards. *shakes fist* anyway…I decided the best way not to lose my wallet again (I had to get a new driver’s license***, new bank cards, new movie rental pass, etc, etc, lost appointment cards and phone numbers), was to CHAIN the damn thing to me. ::: ***ok…getting my new driver’s license? That sucked, and here’s why. Two years ago, when we moved, I found myself in urgent need of renewing my license. We were packed and ready to go, exhausted from moving half of our household by ourselves in the back of a pick up truck, and we decided we needed to rent a moving van. So, I rush down to the rental place, sweaty, dirty, tired, and with the world’s worst perm. I was wearing sweats and flannel. I looked LOVELY. Had all the paperwork filled out and the guy at the counter says, “woah, hang on a minute….your license has expired!” “huh? Whu…buh….?” “you need to renew your license before you can rent a truck.” So I race off to the nearest registry office, renew, get my picture taken (where the girl asks if I want to see it first, to see if I want a retake. Um…no? I look like shit! No matter how many times you take my photo today, it’s still always gonna look like shit!), race BACK to the rental office to get the damn truck. I didn’t really care, I was in a hurry! Except now…I am stuck with this…’picture’… on my license for the next what, six years? It looks like a PRISON PHOTO! And apparently karma really is a bitch because now it seems wherever I go, someone needs to see some ID, please, and I am forced to whip out this hideous picture and show it to everyone. So anyway, after losing my wallet, I figure it’s kind of a blessing in disguise, because NOW I can go get my photo redone. Yay! So I get all dressed up, put on make up, blow dry and straighten my hair, I even put on a shiny new necklace! I cruised on down to the registry office (only to find out the entire building had been knocked down to build a parking lot, and I had to find a totally different registry office), and then explain the situation, argue with the gentleman behind the desk at least 5 times that I didn’t have 800 pieces of ID with me because I lost my WALLET, which was why I was getting a new license in the first place. Eventually he let me pay for a new license, and then said, “here is your temporary license, your new one will be mailed to you in about 10 days. Thank you, come again,” “huh?...whu…buh…? Don’t you need to take my PICTURE?” “No. We have your picture on file.” “That’s ok…you can take a new one, right?” “No. We have your picture on file.” “Yes, I you’ve said that already. What I mean is, PLEASE take a new picture!” “No. We have your picture on file. We have to use that one.” So. I have my NEW driver’s license…but it still has my OLD ugly mugshot on it. Crap. I mean, not only is it U-G-L-Y…but it doesn’t even LOOK like me anymore!! Stupid rules. ::: (so how’s that for connecting 3 totally unconnected topics? Ya. Confusing, isn’t it? Just so you know…that’s what it’s like in my head…ALL the time.) 
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