| ...a day in the life of a mouse |
|
| ...a day in the life of a mouse |
powered by SignMyGuestbook.com
|
|
2008-05-31 - 2:16 p.m. lots going on right now...but i really don't want to get into it...because i've had a row with my mum. and no one really wants to hear about that. still lots of stress in my life...but this past year has been a wake up call for me in a good way, mostly. i am learning who *I* am. and i've decided i like it. there's a shock, hey? i still have a LONG way to go...but now at least i know i can do it, given enough time. other things, i still have no idea how to handle, or how i/we will get thru it. all i know is we HAVE to figure it out. my son's future is at stake...and he has so much potential, it would kill me for him to end up like me...34 and only just figuring out who he is. lately i've been overwhelmed with the urge to paint...but i feel this tremendous "writer's block". i have NO idea what to paint! also, there is so much i need to do in the house, before i can allow myself the luxuray of 'free time'. i have 3 jobs right now. 1 of which really is hardly even worth it. i made $40 this month, compared to this time last year, where i made $500. they keep promising me it'll pick up but 1) i don't believe it really will...i think they are going to go bankrupt (and to be honest, they are NOT nice ppl, and they sort of deserve to go bankrupt...even if that makes me sound like a rotten bastard). and 2) i don't really WANT them to give me more work. i'm in so much pain from my typing...just thinking of typing an extra 4 to 6 hours a night at this point makes me want to weep. seriously. the 3rd job, well...it's ok i guess. the work is easy enough, and it makes me a couple hundred extra per month...but again, it's typing! i don't. want. to. type. ANYMORE. so, this weekend i am revising my resume, (which, btw, i have not done in 10 YEARS!) and i am going round the shops across the street and am going to get a 4th job. hopefully just running the till and dealing with customers. something where i can talk to ppl, do simple tasks, not have to think too much, and NOT have to bloody TYPE!!! i think by this time next year i will be totally wiped out. but i think it'll be worth it. a disappointment though..i had such hopes for getting Chicken into Alternative High next year...but they seem to be more of an English based school...whereas he wants a more math based program. they don't seem to offer physics, chemistry, or music. also, there is a fairly strict application process to see if he will even be accepted. given the past year, it is unlikey he would even be considered as a candidate. at the moment, i'm in rather a panic as to what to do. i feel like i'm in way over my head with him lately. i've called on every parenting skill i have, but they are just not what he needs right now...and i'm not sure i know HOW to be the kind of parent he needs. currently i'm just praying for strength and guidance. bright spot this week: i am in LOVE with my new tuno salad recipe. i had read the various recipes over and over, and just could not see how a chickpea could possibly ever taste like fish....but i have to say, DAMN! this stuff is sooo good! at this point i am not even putting it on bread...i'm just eating it straight out of the bowl. i have to explain part of the reason i am so losing my mind of this discovery...more than anything else i've given up...i miss FISH!!!! i have been craving a tuna sandwish like a junky craves crack. seriously. you have NO idea! and this tuno recipe has been the answer to my prayers!!!! i could GLADLY eat this instead of tuna. every. single. day. bonus - it has just as much protein, but about a billion times the fiber! yay fiber! (shush. fiber is your friend! if you're too young to understand that right now...just take my word for it. when you are older, you will come to realize the importance of FIBER in your diet!) so ya. bright spot in an otherwise SHIT weekend....Tuno sammiches. :) (btw...if you're interested in the recipe...just drop me a line, i'll be happy to share, although i can't tell you where i got the recipe...it was from some random blog...sorry!) 
|